Violet (Klaman) Ritten – my grandmother

There are many things I remember about my grandmother Violet. Her kisses, those were soft as snow falling on your cheek. Her smile, it started with her lips and crinkled up to her eyes and then out to everyone around her.

But the thing that stands out most in my memory is how much Grandpa loved her.

I thought I had found a love like that. But, as it turned out, he didn’t have that love to give. He was always looking forward to the next adventure and seizing any opportunity to try something new, whether or not I was at his side. A small-town girl traipsing around with this big-city boy, I was more of a novelty.

For the seven months we dated, he opened my eyes to new perspectives. As I came to know him, I also came to realize that the life that I wanted and the life that he desired were not the same. So I let him go.

The last thing ever he said to me was that I “epitomized everything he despised in this life.” The words stung and I couldn’t comprehend how the love that we had between us had suddenly warped into something so putrid for him so say that.

In time, I came to learn that he never really loved me, never even really knew me. I was only his obsession. He even said so in his own words. I’m not sure which stung worse.

Despite his striking words, I had a thought that struck me far deeper.

How would I know next time the difference between obsession and real, unadulterated love? With Travis it had felt so real. Even now, my tears shed, heart put back together and with a clear mind, I just can’t see how I will ever know the difference.