The dream has evolved.

I first dreamed it somewhere between July and October 2012.

It begins with a house – and in my dreamspace a house is representative of myself. It is under constant renovation and is always bigger on the inside than the exterior would lead one to believe.

In the first incarnation, I walk down into the basement – a well-lit and even cozy place, although a bit musty. My cat Tiger (my guardian) is with me. In the back of the basement, at the bottom of the stairs there is a door. I open the door and walk through it, voluntarily closing it behind me. I step into a small room illuminated by a white, ethereal light. The room is no bigger than five-feet square and the ceiling is lofty, probably ten feet overhead. On each of the four sides of this room, instead of solid walls, there are four doors – each leading to a place unknown. The doors are made of wood and at painted the color of cream. The doorknobs are made of a dark metal, weathered brass perhaps, and feel cool to the touch.

With Tiger as my guide, I select one door and step into another room identical to the one before. I continue like this throughout the dream, weaving my way around my subconscious. It was curiosity that kept me moving forward. At no point did I feel fear or any sense of being trapped. I was fully awake within the dream and had the comfort of knowing I could leave the maze at any time I so desired. But even as each room led to another same as the last, my sense of curiosity would continue to grow. I didn’t know what I was looking for or had any idea what I might find, but I stayed in the dream, curious to see what my subconscious self had to show my waking self.

Traveling from room to room, Tiger’s physical presence fades and is replaced with something more human – but yet, not human. Like Tiger, this presence exists to protect me, but also to observe and serve as my companion. Reflecting on the dream in waking life, I am still uncertain who or even what this presence represents. While it never took solid form, and therefore had no gender, it felt slightly more masculine (like Tiger) in nature. I can’t even say for certain if it was an extrinsic or intrinsic being – a creation of my mind or an outside “visitor” in my dreamspace. At no point did I challenge or push against this presence (which is usually how I can tell if it is from outside myself) but moved gracefully and effortlessly with me as we journeyed from room to identical room.

And that was it. I never reached any sort of “destination” or found any grand prize. The dream was about searching. Waking from it, intense feelings of comfort, wonder and joy filled my heart. But the dream has gone through some twisted and terrifying metamorphosis.

(Read The Dream – Part II)