My fault

sleep6

 From the Blog: Loose Skin

Learning the right weigh to live. Over and over.

 

I’ve been up since 3am.

Thanks to sleep regression, or at least that’s what I think they call it, my child has decided that as of 3am this morning we are up for the day.

And in the midst of feeling so frustrated and desperate, I find myself filled with guilt.

This way I’m feeling? It’s my fault.

I choose to feel upset with her in that moment rather than to envelope her in my love and understanding. Rather than trying to understand where she’s coming from.

It’s about me, and it should be about her.

Maybe she’s lonely.

Maybe she’s scared.

Maybe she’s cold.

Maybe she’s hungry or thirsty.

Maybe she needs her paci.

Maybe her darn teeth are bugging her once again and she just hurts.

Whatever it may be, I highly doubt she wants to frustrate me or anger me. She doesn’t understand that Mom and Dad have to work a full day while she naps and plays as needed to fill her tank again.

Her world is tiny. And simple.

We adults are the ones who complicate things. It’s our fault. It’s my fault.

As we navigate this new world together, I need to remember when it gets rough that it’s not her fault. She’s trying as hard as I am. She criedso much in the beginning. But she seriously brings so much light into our lives.

Not only that, but she picks up on the energy and attitude that I exude, so it’s my example that she will follow and eventually emulate. When she feels frustrated and angry, I pray that she will show compassion, patience and understanding because that is how she was raised.

I hope it’s my fault.

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