Happy Anniversary Richard!

I would like to wish my husband a happy anniversary! It was one year ago today he revealed to me the lie that our marriage had been built upon.



For years, I had been feeling isolated and put up with multiple types of abuse – emotional, economic, psychological, and sociological. He played a part in destroying my relationship with my family of origin, minimized my economic contributions to our household, marginalized my friendships, and destroyed my self-esteem.

I finally sat down and made a list of the ways my life has changed since we had been married.

My life before Richard Lee:

  • Gainfully employed
  • Able-bodied
  • Stable housing
  • Car ownership
  • Volunteer work
  • Active hobbies
  • Good Mental Health
  • Active social life


My life after Richard Lee:

  • Unemployable
  • Disabled
  • Homeless
  • Missing car payments
  • Diminished volunteering
  • Few hobbies
  • Severe depression/anxiety
  • Social isolation


As you can see, my life has changed drastically in the time he and I have been together – and not for the better. Granted, not everything on the list can be fully attributed to his influence. However, everything on that list can certainly be partially attributed to him.

Out of curiosity, I made an inverse list looking at how his life has changed since he and I got together. It paints quite a picture of how much he used me, my time, my talents, and my love to his own advantage.

His life before Me:

  • Struggling self-employed
  • Disabled / on SSI payments
  • Trading sex for shelter and money
  • No motor vehicle
  • No volunteer work
  • Active hobbies
  • Bi-polar diagnosis
  • Active social life


His life after Me:

  • Gainfully employed
  • Self-sufficient
  • Stable housing
  • Car ownership
  • Donates to charity
  • Profitable hobbies
  • Bi-polar Disorder
  • Active social life


If you or someone you know is suffering from domestic violence, please know you can get help and get out. For support, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit their website at www.thehotline.com

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