Hello  dear readers! I am so grateful and deserving of this opportunity to finally address you as I dictate my words to the human. She is quite a good typist, but I am certain that if I had thumbs I would be much faster. I am faster than her at nearly everything – faster at falling asleep, faster at finishing my kibble, and faster at doing our respective morning routines.

I hate it when my human is on hold with Walmart Card Services – stupid Synchrony Bank!!!