Trust Levels in the Real World Part Two – Shall We Dance?

To reach a level three on the Trust Level tree, you must find some task or activity that either one or neither of you enjoys. At the friendship level of trust, you do things with the other person (or persons) not because you enjoy that particular activity, but because you enjoy their company. Building a fence might be an example – but only if at least one party dislikes building fences. If you both enjoy building fences, then that is still a level two (companions) activity.

Dancing might be another activity. If only one person in the relationship enjoys dancing and the other doesn’t – or doesn’t even know how – that form of recreation would have the potential to usher that relationship into level three.

In this scene from “The King and I,” we see Anna teaching the King of Siam how to dance. Since they have already become acquainted and she has been hired to teach his children about western culture, this is where they take their relationship to the next level.

We’ve just been introduced. I do not know you well, but when the music started something drew me to your side. So many men and girls are in each others arms – it made me think we might be similarly occupied.

Shall we dance? On a bright cloud of music shall we fly? Shall we dance? Shall we then say ‘goodnight’ and mean ‘goodbye?’ Or perchance, when the last little star has left the sky, shall we still be together with our arms around each other and shall you be my new romance? On the clear understanding that this kind of thing can happen, shall we dance? Shall we dance? Shall we dance?

When Anna suddenly stops, seeming from embarrassment, the King insists she dances “pretty” and that they continue the lesson. He even joins her in singing. Now, sixty-seven years later, that scene still has the power to make people swoon when Yul Brynner reaches his hand out to Deborah Kerr’s waist.


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