Love is not Self-Seeking

A love that is true doesn’t objectify their loved one. The ego is swept away by the power of love and two souls become one. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) To love means to take someone or something as a part of yourself – to protect, honor, and respect it as you would your very self. The Buddha is quoted as saying, “When you like a flower, you just pluck it. But when you love a flower, you water it daily.”

Love Is Not Easily Angered

When our love partner (and I don’t just mean romantic partner – I mean parents, children, friends and colleagues as well) makes a mistake or offends us, we do not rush to anger. While anger can ignite an impetus for change, it can also be destructive. It’s this destructive sort of anger I’m talking about for which love makes no room. Love can certainly hurt, but should never push us into destructive anger. Love seeks understanding, the salve to anger.

Love Keeps No Record of Wrongs

Love readily offers forgiveness freely, fully, and completely. This is a big challenge for us in Western Civilization as we have such a hyper-developed sense of self – some (myself included) may argue it’s to a pathological degree.
To quote author Richard J. Foster, “Love, not anger, brought Jesus to the cross. Golgotha came as a result of God’s great desire to forgive, not his reluctance. Jesus knew that by his vicarious suffering he could actually absorb all the evil of humanity and so heal it, forgive it, redeem it.”
Here I must refer to one of my favorite films called “Calvary.” It is the story of a priest played by Brendan Gleeson who has a challenging flock to say the least. The people in his congregation are full of sin and vice, but he readily offers them the sacraments of reconciliation and communion. Toward the end of the film as he knowingly heads towards his own death, he turns to his daughter and says that one of the most underrated virtues is forgiveness.

To be continued...