The days that follow – update

And he continues to live his life as if this never happened – as is he never raped the babysitter while that little girl slept across the hallway with all doors in the house wide open. He lives as if he never used a gun to threaten me. He lives as if he got away with it.

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I took the bold move of unblocking him today. Much to my surprise, Cole had not blocked me. I guess he’s just that confident of a rapist. Scrolling through his timeline, I wasn’t surprised to see he still has this post from the night he assaulted me.

Just One Take

In the days that followed since Cole Mooridian sexually assaulted me in his home during the early morning hours of June 4th – his life continued as normal.

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I was never your cure.

I was never your cure. I am your addiction.

You hurt me far too many times, I could mention

After it has all been done and said –

You thought you could leave, but I’m still in your head.

 

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I will not abandon you.

I’m not sure if you get my messages. You often say you will block my number. So I don’t know if they get through to you – either literally or metaphorically. But I know you check this website every day so I will tell it to you again here. I will not abandon you.

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You Belong to Me on YouTube

Fargo on a Saturday Evening

Self-Portrait of a Husband

Warning… moderately graphic graffiti and text messages ahead.

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Letter to my husband

Dear Richard,

You’ve always been a coward. I didn’t see it for so long because I loved you. Though I love you still, the rose-colored glasses have been removed and I see you for what you are.

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You are a coward. You were a coward before I met you. And you are a coward still. You told me yourself that you stayed on SSI/Disability long after you had any need of it – that staying on it was your “security blanket.” When I needed you most to speak for me, you stayed silent. When I needed you to notice me and the work I was doing, you ignored me. You belittled me. You marginalized me. And when I was struggling after running out of medication, you not only failed to notice – you left. You abandoned me in my most desperate hour. And you’ve abandoned me every day, every hour, every minute since then.

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Happy Anniversary Richard!

I would like to wish my husband a happy anniversary! It was one year ago today he revealed to me the lie that our marriage had been built upon.

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One year from now

A consistent piece of advice I hear from life coaches and gurus is the importance of writing down your goals. I am taking that one step further and sharing my goals with the world. Here are my ten goals for how I want my life to look one year from today.

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Trying to make sense of things…

Just One Take

Every now and then I take some time to sit alone with my thoughts, trying to make sense of things that are going on in my life or things that have happened.

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