The difference between a rapist and a victim

There are many differences between “victims” and their rapists.

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If you only know one thing about sexual assault – know this!

At one point or another, most of us will be affected by sexual assault in some way. Some will become momentary “victims” who move into becoming a “survivor” with the grace of time, love, and support. Others will have a friend, family member, or romantic partner who has been victimized – these people are known as “secondary survivors.” Many sexual assault crisis centers across the United States provide free counseling and advocacy services to primary survivors and some also provide services to these secondary survivors who have their own unique issues and needs separate from that of the primary survivor.

While this is all valuable information to support survivors and their loved ones in the weeks and months after an assault, there is one critical step that can save lives if taken within days after an attack – a rape examination.

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Valley News Live (KVLY) threatens a lone woman on the internet in bold and daring move

Did I say “bold and daring?”

I meant to say pathetic and sad.

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There is darkness in the valley

Valley City is a small community nestled in the heart of the Sheyenne River Valley. Being surrounded by beautiful landscapes, one would assume the community is just as beautiful too. However, whatever potential for beauty it might have once held, Valley City has been corrupted by the darkest of evils – pedophilia, rape, molestation, and murder.

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The final hour

In this final hour as I await my car and driver to transport me to the Cass County Courthouse, I feel butterflies bouncing around in my empty stomach. I spent the morning vomiting foam due to anxiety over facing rapist Aaron Michael Lamb in court. I am nervous… but I am not afraid.

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Richard Kodadek is a rapist and a wife beater

Since my 2013 wedding to Richard Lee Kodadek (DOB 01/03/1981), I have been struggling to recover from a traumatic brain injury I sustained as a result of that relationship. Granted, I did not know this is what I was struggling with until several years later. I was told repeatedly by many doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, and my husband himself that I was “just” wrestling with depression, anxiety, and mood instability. The fact of the matter is that in a single day, my entire personality had changed and nobody close to me – not even Richard Kodadek – seemed to take notice.

Rapist and Abuser Richard Lee Kodadek
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A call at 3am from a rapist

Convicted child abuser, molester, and rapist Aaron Michael Lamb
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It all began on a summer’s eve

It all began on a summer’s eve in July 2017 when my husband told me that he had slept with my sister and that he was leaving me. Which news was worse is debatable. If his aim was to cut me deepest, he couldn’t have chosen better timing. I had recently been fired from my job because of excessive panic attacks which led to hospitalization at a local mental health institution. Additionally, I had been brutally raped about a month prior by a man he had introduced me to as a friend. Earlier that day, I had been informed by the states attorney’s office that there would be no prosecution for the crime – even though a handgun and a minor child had been involved. I already felt destroyed. His actions ensured I would stay that way for a long time.

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Changing the conversation

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Dear Richard,

We’ve recently welcomed a new year and today is your birthday, so it’s to be expected that you’re up late taking stock of the state of your life and I’m not surprised that you seem to be finding yourself unhappy. I can certainly relate to that sentiment.

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The Body Keeps Score

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I have a friend who see themselves in the worst way. It puzzles me because over the years, this friend has been kind, generous, thoughtful, and selfless in ways that have delighted me. This friend thinks they have done something horrible to hurt me. And even though I have memory issues, my body remembers when someone has hurt me before.

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