It all began on a summer’s eve

It all began on a summer’s eve in July 2017 when my husband told me that he had slept with my sister and that he was leaving me. Which news was worse is debatable. If his aim was to cut me deepest, he couldn’t have chosen better timing. I had recently been fired from my job because of excessive panic attacks which led to hospitalization at a local mental health institution. Additionally, I had been brutally raped about a month prior by a man he had introduced me to as a friend. Earlier that day, I had been informed by the states attorney’s office that there would be no prosecution for the crime – even though a handgun and a minor child had been involved. I already felt destroyed. His actions ensured I would stay that way for a long time.

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A Hero’s Journey Begins

“The usual hero adventure begins with someone from whom something has been taken, or who feels there is something lacking in the normal experience available or permitted to the members of society. The person then takes off on a series of adventures beyond the ordinary, either to recover what has been lost or to discover some life-giving elixir. It’s usually a cycle, a coming and a returning.”

Joseph Campbell, The Hero with a Thousand Faces

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Love rejoices with the truth

Love does not Delight in Evil but Rejoices with the Truth

In my opinion, this part of the passage is more telling about the nature of evil than that of love. One way we can know something is by learning more about it’s opposite. Cold is the absence of heat. Darkness is the absence of light. Evil is the absence of love and truth.

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Family means nobody gets left behind

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What would you grab if your home was on fire? It’s a common enough question and a good one to consider should anyone find themselves presented with such a dire situation. I had the opportunity to know my answer to that question. Earlier this year when I was staying at the YWCA shelter, a fire alarm went off early one morning. No drill was scheduled, so I had to assume this was the real deal.

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Love offers forgiveness

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Love is not Self-Seeking

A love that is true doesn’t objectify their loved one. The ego is swept away by the power of love and two souls become one. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) To love means to take someone or something as a part of yourself – to protect, honor, and respect it as you would your very self. The Buddha is quoted as saying, “When you like a flower, you just pluck it. But when you love a flower, you water it daily.”

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Love is patient

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From First Corinthians Chapter Thirteen:

1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

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How they fell in love

You traded your ship for me?

Feminine Anger

I can feel her presence. She is always there, nibbling at the frayed edges of my mind. My most intimate and steadfast companion never leaving me behind. Rather, she is the one who jumps into play when others choose to abandon me. I would say she’s back – but truth be told, she never really left.

She exists for a reason and that reason is to protect me when it seems nobody else will. She has never failed me in that regard. Although her means are unorthodox and arguably unethical, she is always effective when it comes to protecting the fragility of my heart. She is not only allowed to feel anger, but she wields it as a warrior might carry a sword and shield.  By contrast, I am not culturally allowed to feel or express my rage myself.

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The best love story for our modern times

Since its debut in the fall of 2011, I have been enamored with the ABC television series Once Upon A Time. That year was a time of personal transition and the show beautifully helped me through the difficulties I encountered.

In the pilot, we are introduced to our hero Emma Swan who appears in a doorway wearing a stunning red dress.

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Transactional Relationships – some personal anecdotes

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I want to help,” he said handing over a stack of cash. “But I don’t want to get involved.” 

I can think of no better example of unconditional love – giving with the only expectation that the gift be used for good and the betterment of one’s current situation. In this example, he wasn’t expecting any sort of favor or a more-intimate relationship. He didn’t give explicit direction on how to spend it. He gave the gift freely without strings attached – only that he wants my life to get better. This is the exact opposite of transactional love.

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