Feminine Anger

I can feel her presence. She is always there, nibbling at the frayed edges of my mind. My most intimate and steadfast companion never leaving me behind. Rather, she is the one who jumps into play when others choose to abandon me. I would say she’s back – but truth be told, she never really left.

She exists for a reason and that reason is to protect me when it seems nobody else will. She has never failed me in that regard. Although her means are unorthodox and arguably unethical, she is always effective when it comes to protecting the fragility of my heart. She is not only allowed to feel anger, but she wields it as a warrior might carry a sword and shield.  By contrast, I am not culturally allowed to feel or express my rage myself.

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Transactional Relationships – some personal anecdotes

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I want to help,” he said handing over a stack of cash. “But I don’t want to get involved.” 

I can think of no better example of unconditional love – giving with the only expectation that the gift be used for good and the betterment of one’s current situation. In this example, he wasn’t expecting any sort of favor or a more-intimate relationship. He didn’t give explicit direction on how to spend it. He gave the gift freely without strings attached – only that he wants my life to get better. This is the exact opposite of transactional love.

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The Body Keeps Score

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I have a friend who see themselves in the worst way. It puzzles me because over the years, this friend has been kind, generous, thoughtful, and selfless in ways that have delighted me. This friend thinks they have done something horrible to hurt me. And even though I have memory issues, my body remembers when someone has hurt me before.

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The Choices We Make

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Every day brings choices…

and over time, these choices define us.

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Trust Levels

I used to think that trust was like and “on/off” switch – either I trusted someone or I didn’t. But that doesn’t have to be the case. I learned a better way and I hope this post can help someone find a better way for themselves.

There are levels to trust. For example, you can trust most people to not shoot you in line at the grocery store. However, that doesn’t mean you hand them your wallet, keys, and the passcode to your accounts. There are stages you need to put people through as you determine where they fit in your life and level of trust.

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In Memoriam – Jennifer Tucker

Jenny was a woman of strength.

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How to support someone with PTSD – part three

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Regions of the brain associated with stress and posttraumatic stress disorder.
Source: National Institue of Mental Health http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-research-fact-sheet/index.shtml

I have recently been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. It is an aptly named “disease” – though it is not a mental illness. It is a normal reaction to a traumatic life event.

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The Dream – Part II

The dream now begins with me stepping into the house – now cold and hollow – the ethereal light from it, gone. With no companion, guard or guide, I enter and descend into the basement – a flickering light illuminates my steps, casting all manner of shadows around me.

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How to support someone with PTSD (or social anxiety) – summary

1.    Be the kind of person they can turn to.
2.    Encourage them to seek therapy.
3.    Be an “active” participant in their recovery.
4.    NEVER make light of therapy or the work they are doing.
5.    Make sure you have help yourself!

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How to support someone with PTSD – part one

I have recently been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. It is an aptly named “disease” – though it is not a mental illness. It is a normal reaction to a traumatic life event.

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