Letter to my husband

Dear Richard,

You’ve always been a coward. I didn’t see it for so long because I loved you. Though I love you still, the rose-colored glasses have been removed and I see you for what you are.


You are a coward. You were a coward before I met you. And you are a coward still. You told me yourself that you stayed on SSI/Disability long after you had any need of it – that staying on it was your “security blanket.” When I needed you most to speak for me, you stayed silent. When I needed you to notice me and the work I was doing, you ignored me. You belittled me. You marginalized me. And when I was struggling after running out of medication, you not only failed to notice – you left. You abandoned me in my most desperate hour. And you’ve abandoned me every day, every hour, every minute since then.

You only told me your secret after having removed all your (and many of my) possessions from our home. You lacked the courage to tell me from the outset of what you did. But you managed to tell your friends. I thought I was your friend. You were my best friend and I thought I was yours. You told me I was your best friend. You lied.

You lied to me for nearly five years from nearly the start of our marriage. I can understand why you kept the secret like you did. But what I can’t understand or forgive is that you told others without telling me.

We were in marital counseling together! That would have been the ideal environment to tell me what you did. Instead, you packed up your things and moved out – then you told me. You waited until there was nothing left for you to lose… or so you thought.

You’ve lost me. I tried to forgive you, but I can’t. For whatever reason, I’m just not built that way. Maybe if you hadn’t of left, things could be different. But you did leave. And I have paid the price of your infidelity ten-fold. What price have you paid?



Your Wife


Leave a comment


  1. Becky

     /  July 28, 2018

    Wow…so many lies.

  2. Thank you for your comment, “Becky.” I would appreciate you sharing exactly what you think I am lying about – if you feel so bold.

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